1. |
Sweet Fuck All
03:33
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I quit my job
Started a mutiny
With anybody who join me
We packed it all
Only unnecessaries
Set our mind what we couldn’t see
And we were not alone
In leaving home
Found the road was three trucks deep
And everybody had a heavy load
And that made it worse
That only made it worse, mmm
I heard you under your breath curse
And that made it worse
That only made it worse, mmm
Like gettin stuck behind a hearse
When you’re on a joyride
Trying to steer yourself dry
There to remind you you’re afraid to die
Take your own life
Into the sky
To fly
It just gets worse
Only gets worse, mmm
Your bones grow brittle and your memory terse
Yeah it gets worse
Only gets worse, mmm
Fears go unconquered like an unquenchable thirst
So fuck it all
Yeah fuck it all
Fuck it all
Yeah fuck it all
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2. |
Lumberjack's Dove
04:56
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When it's too late to make an impact
All you've said and done is laid down flat
In the weeds of the field you planted together
You wonder
If there's no way to turn back time and
Never do any hurtful crime how will I
Heal this hand where it severed
My blood runs cold
At the very least
The cut was clean
And the Canada geese
Couldn't see me scream
Or release my dove as she flew the wrong way
Bird like a salmon she was swimming upstream, well
For now it's warm I can be okay but
The first snowstorm I'm a runaway
You're only ever leaving town or
Finding out you've been jerked around as you're un-
Intentionally deceiving
You and the one you say you love most you
Treat 'em like a friendly ghost you can will
Into being on days you're grieving
My blood runs cold
At the very least
The cut was clean
And the Canada geese
Couldn't see me scream
Or release my dove as she flew the wrong way
Bird like a salmon she was swimming upstream, well
For now it's warm I can be okay but
The first snowstorm I'm a runaway
The rage of change
Wanna crawl back into my old
Same violent ways
Reassuring myself I'm incapable
Always felt safe
Hiding the blade of the axe
From the ready hand
My blood runs cold
At the very least
The cut was clean
And the Canada geese
Couldn't see me scream
Or release my dove as she flew the wrong way
Bird like a salmon she was swimming upstream, well
For now it's warm I can be okay but
The first snowstorm I'm a runaway
I released my dove and she flew the wrong way
Bird like a salmon she was swimming upstream, well
For now it's warm I can be okay but
The first snowstorm I'm a runaway
I'm a runaway
I'm a runaway
I'm a runaway
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3. |
Winnebago
05:00
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Maybe I'll draw the Winnebago
I brought a dull pencil of charcoal
Etch it slowly yellow windows
And all the places it won't go
If you listen to the sink
The metal sings more than you'd think
Like a secret steel drum
Plays calypso while you get the dishes done
Let me sketch you something messy draw the line let me be clear
I’m afraid I gave you all I have to say while we sit here
I am grateful for your company your body by the fire
Help me spurn me into change to stay the same it would be dire
All I do is fill
I diligently fill these pages
Pouring from an empty cup
Empty well, I won’t disrupt
Looking for creative purpose
For my work now, is it fruitless?
Or will ideas grow like leaves
If I keep painting naked trees
Let me sketch you something messy draw the line let me be clear
I’m afraid I gave you all I have to say while we sit here
I am grateful for your company your body by the fire
Help me spurn me into change to stay the same it would be dire
(Let me sketch you
Something soulful
I am grateful
For your fire)
Keep daydreaming
Keep daydreaming
Keep daydreaming
Keep daydreaming
Keep daydreaming
Keep daydreaming
Keep daydreaming
Keep daydreaming
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4. |
I Don't Know
06:05
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I.
Maybe I won’t draw the blinds, ’til I know my eyes
Won’t hurt by the sight of the sun
Maybe I won’t check the time, ’til I know I’m
Too late to get up and go
I know enough to know I don’t know
Enough to know I don’t know
I know enough to know I don’t know
Enough to know I don’t know
Maybe it’s a pendulum swing, to make it to the next thing
Got to go out of my way to get out of my way
Maybe I can clear the dust, white vinegar to pick up rust
I’ll make new from old
I know enough to know I don’t know
Enough to know I don’t know
I know enough to know I don’t know
Enough to know I don’t know
II.
Don’t commit to anything, you might not feel this way tomorrow
Listen to the bluebird sing, she’s undermining all your sorrow
So transparent in my dreams, I trace them back to all my fears
My complex anxieties are oh, so simple
Change the words from bad to good, I wish I understood this feeling
Raised in places far away, but still a child in need of rearing
When did I decide to stand, still in one place, to slow to land
Watch the water drift away and hear the grasses windy wave?
III.
Don’t know
I know enough to know I
Don’t know
I know enough to know I
Don’t know
I know enough to know I
Don’t know
I know enough to know I
Don’t know
I know enough to know I
Don’t know
I know enough to know I
Don’t know
When did I decide to stand still?
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5. |
Wood Chapel
04:11
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I was outside
Drew a line
Til the tide rose
Washing me into a corner
Struggling to hold
My head high
My limbs grew cold
Helpless I hoped for a storm
Or a wave
To certify my sinking
Take me away
Or pour me a drink and
Transport me to a safe
Dissociative place
Free of anyone
Dragging me down
When I say dragon
I mean fire breathing
Opening scars in the sky
Wreaking havoc
One day and then
Leaving
No indication of why
Some were born
Passionately angry
Poisoned in the womb
A villainous baby
Delivered in gloom
Destined to pillage and burn
When we we learn?
Fashion a chapel
Of wood with
Your bare hands
Fasten a roof out of tin
Safeguard our stories
And secrets of
Stolen land
Build it to lock from within
These are the ways
We hide our transgressions
Failures and mistakes
And mortifying lessons
Hope they will fade
As we turn to the heavens to pray
Then comes the day
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6. |
Why Bother
04:07
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This is the meaning of your
Following of me, indecent
Dreaming I'm dawning on your
Reason for being, for
I don't know why you bother
I don't know who you are
Don't know why you bother with me
Instantly dissolving all my
Innocence is crawling into
Crevices of putting you to
Sleep
Slowly undressing all the
Weight of your depression, I know
You can't help it baby or help
Me
I don't know why I bother
I don't know who you are
Don't know why I bother to see
I don't know why I fodder
Sleeping til noon
I am my father's daughter
You can assume what you assume
I'm weeping under water
Of my own doing
Lying to linger longer
Lighting the room
I don't know why you bother
I don't know who you are
Don't know why you bother with me
I don't know why I bother
I don't know who you are
Don't know why I bother to see
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7. |
How
06:14
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And how
Did I leave you weeping
In a puddle
Somehow
I believe you need to
Sit here and muddle
Through alone
Take you off your
Throne of dissociation
I know
Every bone is
Crying in indignation
You'll see
The going just gets
Harder from here
The highs are high
But the lows
Endlessly flow and
I don’t know how the words left my throat
Breath found a tone a let it go
I’ll never send the letter that I wrote
These words it’s best you don’t know
And now
I am stuck here under
This cloud
Back on the prowl
Like owl calls
Knowing that she’s lonely
I am cowed
I am crouching under
Thunder and hail
I am too proud
Though the weight of this
Decision drags me
Down
I don’t know how the words left my throat
Breath found a tone a let it go
I’ll never send the letter that I wrote
These words it’s best you don’t know
Oh what have I done
Where did you come from
The garden state is thicker than you think
You grew inside of me
Killed my creativity
Now alone the floodgates are open
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8. |
Sparrow
03:55
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I drank three coffees and I went to sleep
In a bed full of farts and jealousy
I thought I'd hit my all-time low
Til I saw how far I'd left to go
I’m tired
Goes without saying
So why can’t I forgive myself for
Straying from
The straight and narrow
Like a sparrow
Flying into things
I sat up to write this song
And still every other little thing went wrong
My pencil fell into the guitar hole
And I broke a string trying to take control
I’m tired
Goes without saying
So why can’t I forgive myself for
Straying from
The straight and narrow
Like a sparrow
Flying into things
I banged my toe on the kitchen chair
As if I didn’t see it there
Then I stood up and I hit my head
Fuck this I’m going back to bed
I’m tired
Goes without saying
So why can’t I forgive myself for
Straying from
The straight and narrow
Like a sparrow
Flying into things
Like a sparrow
Flying into things
Like a sparrow
Flying into things
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9. |
Curious Way
03:08
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I went home in a spring revival
I recovered from the slow strain of survival
Boarded a train that would take me away and away
And away and away and away
I found peace in the same old place
Put my mind in a different way
Held a seed like a tree and now I do believe
I can stay I can stay I can stay
I can stay I can say that I’ll stay
I let everything settle back down
It takes time every time I leave town
I surrendered my hands and I took up a dance
With a sway with a sway with a sway
With a sway in my curious way
I pick up my courage
It isn't what you had in mind
You're so hard to encourage
But I'm taking my time
And if that ain't a sign that I
Looooooove you
Well I don't know what is
No, I don't know what is
Hmm
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10. |
Vengeance
05:33
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The tall grass comes back with a vengeance
I watch, I learn its resilience
To slow down, practice my patience
Make listening a pressing engagement
Same djinn still sit on my shoulder
They chime in and in ever emboldened
To remind me I can try and I will wander away
But with me they'll stay
Don't take offense that I don't
Have time to spend for I have
So many miles left of my mind
To mine for gold
Out here I run in a perfect square now
I think I'm finding my alignment
But when you call I can't remember at all how
To summon the will I thought I'd found
If it's any kind of consolation
I can see every star at night
Yeah, I'm reading all the constellations
Like a self-help book on being alright
Don't take offense that I don't
Have time to spend for I have
So many miles left of my mind
To mine for gold
To mine for gold
I don't know how long I need to be alone
To feel as though I'm carrying a manageable load
The hardest part was leaving home
Now I'm gone I'd like to go and go and go and go and go and go and go and go and go
And go and go and go and go and go and go and go
And go and go and go and go and go and go and go and go
And go and go and go and go and go and go and go
And go and go and go and go and go and go and go and go and go and go
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Nancy McArthur New York
A blend of indie, folk and melancholy, Nancy McArthur’s songs are meditative and heart-searching, with a generous dose of dad jokes.
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